So im bored out of my mind.. missing Whit. Tomorrow I have to go to a funeral. Yay for that... NOT. Its at the same place Whit's was, and thats not going to be fun. My Grams been pretty gay lately. Shes upset about all the deaths and unfortunately takes it out on me. The other day she even slapped me. But whatever i understand, I dont like it, but i understand. The other day i went to the beach with katie and Jeremiah, was a nice day, then we went to visit Whit's grave, but we couldnt find him... which was really weird. Sucked too. Oh and David is such a tweaker now. He is always a paranoid freak, who cant admitt he has a problem. If he keeps that up he'll be as bad as Marco. Well im done venting now. ttyl <3 Celine

Im melting in your eyes, i lost my place. Could stay awhile. And Im melting in your eyes, like my first time, that i caught fire. Just stay with me lay with me now.

"I never said i'd lie and wait forever. If i i died we'd be together now. I can't always just forget her but She can try. At the end of the world or the last thing i see, you are never coming home. Never coming home, Could I? Should I?"

Christmas wont ever be the same now that Whit's not here. But he's finally home for christmas. <333 Um, I told Zach about me being horrible with relationships and he wants to risk getting hurt cause he likes me alot i guess. But other than that nothing is new. Life is pretty good. Well im off to go shopping with my girls/boys. <33333.

Currently Playing White Houses By Vanessa Carlton see related

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*Youre never going to believe me but..... I got a job! Im stoked. I work at the crystal cathedral and I get paid 8 dollars an hour. Its so grand. Oh and I love Nate. Hes not Whit but Hes awesome. He cheers me up when i get sad and hes so fun to be with now. Hes just changed so much and well So have I. Im still not perfect, but then again no one is. But on Sunday at church, i felt god. Like, I felt like i was having a heat stroke and i was going to pass out, but in a good way haha. I was just blocking everything out and i couldnt even really understand what the pastor was telling me. He was giving me a prophecy and when i looked at him..BAM! I felt like i was on fire. I was just so stoked and ever since then ive just been...like wow. It Just made me realize how God is VERY real and it was just an intense experience. I loved it. Ill never forget it. but i have to go. Goodnight. xoxo

My cousin (Whitney) got into a dirtbike accident. He was in a race and he ate shit and fell on his head and cracked his helmet (which means he was going super fast) When his dad saw him, He wasn't breathing and he was turning blue. He eventually started to breath again and they flew him to a near by hospital. Turns out he went brain dead and was in a coma. Its been 3 days and Vickey (his mom) Tim (his dad) and Tracy (His step mom) decided to donate his organs to other people who need them. What they did made me so mad. He wasn't even dead yet and They seriously had no faith that he could get better. I know he couldve...I just know it. How the hell do you live, knowing you took your sons life away, knowing he could have had a chance to live. Now Whit's dead and I dont know how to deal with this. I loved him and I was so close to him. He has always been my favorite cousin...Now what am I suppose to do....

Something I wrote about Whit..

-You just layed there, you looked like you were sleeping. All i could do was sit there with you and hold your hand. You still have the softest skin ive ever touched. And I still want to know your secret. I remember kissing your hand and praying for the day that you would wake up laughing and just telling me "I got you good this time." but that day never came. And i kept thinking "I can't wait till you wake up so I can kick your ass for putting me through this" But that never happened either. In fact you never woke up at all, and you never will. So I'm stuck here with these words I'll never be able to tell you, and it kills me to know you really are gone. This all seems like a dream, so wont you wake me up from this nightmare because I can't take it anymore.